Colonoscopy: It Won't Kill Ya & It Might Save Your Life

My wrist bands. Allergies are for penicillin and sulfa drugs

This is a PSA (Public Service Announcement).

By specific request of some of my Facebook friends, I will not discuss the preparation process. Suffice to say that it's better than it used to be, cuz I remember some really nasty stuff I had to drink once. I also remember the first time when my doctor tried to do it without sedation (for me). Make sure you get the anesthesia.

But let me just say it gets better and easier all the time. The worst of my experience was with the lack of food and increasing dehydration, I got a really bad migraine late last night to the point of near delirium mumbling that my wife should just take me to the emergency room (they do have those magic injections). She didn't.

Feeling a bit better this morning, I drove to the G/I Office just west of Lakeview Hospital. It was all very friendly, neat and clean. There's the typical check-in and the lovely hospital gown open in the back which does make a lot of sense for this particular procedure. One nice nurse brought me a warm blanket. I lay on the gurney for a long time before they came to get me. Another nice nurse turned off the overhead UV light when I told her about the migraine. She asked me the "pain number." I said I was about at a 2 or 3 but it was a 9 or 10 last night.

I also was direct enough to ask her the question that had long been on my mind. I understood why people would want to go into medicine to save lives and help the sick and all, but why this particular area of specialization? She answered that as a nurse, it was actually the cleanest job she ever had. The patients do all the prep at home and the machines suck up any excess. But still, (and I didn't say this part) you have to look at people's bums all day long.

Anyway, the nurses and doctors were very kind and efficient throughout the procedure. They did all the checks and cross checks. They were really impressed that I had typed out my list of medications with dosages and dates of "last taken," etc. I said I could make a really bad joke right then, but refrained. (Something about personality types playing off where they were about to work on me.) They applied the anesthetic and I asked if I was supposed to start counting or something. The nurse said I could repeat the Pledge of Allegiance if I wanted but I thought it would be better to do the Preamble to the Constitution and show off a little. Before I got started I said, "So when am I supposed to go to sleep?" The nurse said, "We're all done."

I was a little foggy in the head but not bad and the headache had seemed to dissipate. They wheeled me into recovery and my wife was soon there and I got dressed. The doctor came in and said everything looked really good. He had a bunch of pictures but I think my wife hid them so I wouldn't blog my guts out (so to speak). We had a tight schedule because she had to pick up our boy from school and get him to pick up my car and she had to get back to school, but she managed to find time to pick up a Cowboy Pizza at Papa Murphy's! Sweet! (She still loves me.)

So, it just wasn't that bad of a deal. Please go get the procedure done [if your doc recommends it or you are in a risk group, like over 50]. Colon cancer is one of those that is easily treated if discovered early but very difficult, messy, and probably deadly if you don't.

And, there is no reason why everybody shouldn't have the ability to have this done. It would save a lot of lives and money treating and losing to ugly cancers if we screened earlier. Go, health care reform!