Utah's Lollipop Guild

Utah Senator Mike Lee
Current Mayor of the Munchkin City

Long-time Conservative and
Wannabee-Munchkin Orrin Hatch
and Wannabee-Hatch Jason Chaffetz

I know I'm being less than charitable here, but I'm trying to make a moderately passionate point.  I leave out my own Congressman Rob Bishop because, while positively, absolutely, undeniably, and reliably conservative, and my favorite guy to yell at during patriotic, community parades, he has successfully maintained just the sliver of independence from the Utah Munchkin Caucus.

Senator Hatch, who should know better, lost his fellow Conservative, and relatively sane comrade, Rob Bennett, to the tea party frenzy of  2010. Now he is embarrassingly trying to out tea-party himself and everyone else to prove his conservative credentials and head off the Chaffetz insurgency that is very likely in next spring's Utah Republican precinct meetings. Recently, one of those "unattached" political corporations protected by the Supremes in Citizens United put out a political ad to link Hatch to the junior senator from Utah, the Munchkin Mayor, Mike Lee. It was so bad it was hilarious. I have this proposal for Hatch though, if he would only stand up, be a man, and denounce the tea party, I will switch my party registration and go to my precinct meeting to defend him against the Chaffetzistas. And that would be a serious "compromise" on my part because I have a history of some personal issues with Senator Hatch and his office. But I think I'm pretty safe with my little challenge.

Senator Mike Lee, I just can't figure him out. His father, Rex Lee, was such a decent guy! Rex was a solid Reagan Republican who served as Solicitor General. His conservative, Republican credentials were impeccable but I don't know of anything that would link him to the Skousenite-Beckian craziness that defines his son. Rex Lee gave a talk while President of Brigham Young University that, while clearly from a conservative and LDS perspective, and with some of which I don't even agree (over-emphasis on federalism, i.e., "state rights"), it is clearly at odds with the tea party interpretations on the divine nature of the Constitution, the Founders, the Commerce Clause, judicial review and even the value of the 17th Amendment! How could his boy go so far astray? Did little Mike hide in his bedroom reading The Naked Communist under his bed-covers when the home teachers came over? (Harry Reid was his home teacher.)

With Jason Chaffetz, I just don't know where to begin. The old-style Libertarians and new-style Lollipoppers just love him. Even Steven Colbert loves him. I have this odd feeling about him too because he defeated former Congressman Chris Cannon, whom I detested (former connections with my work and Prosecutor of the House Impeachment proceedings against Clinton, who, scumbag as he may have been, did not deserve the hypocritical Republican witch trial -nor did the nation.) And the really funny thing is that Chaffetz specifically went after Cannon for supporting the W.Bush/McCain reasonable immigration reform plan which is the one thing I would have agreed on!!! (Irony upon irony).

So there you have it, my brief summary of the Utea-partiers in the United States Congress.

And here I am watching Wisconsin Republican Senator recall election results. Maybe, just maybe, I can publish on my Facebook status, "SHERMAN TAKES ATLANTA!!" Oops. I mean, "ON, WISCONSIN!" Because everyone knows, as goes Wisconsin, so goes Utah even if it takes us another few decades to catch up with the La Follette Progressive Movement.